I was all happy and geared up for this but then I found out it wasn't real >.<; damn it!

I am so lame. Let's all just face it. I suck at life. It has been, what? 5 weeks since I've last popped up here? That's sad...I'm seriously. Oh well, don't hold it against me too much xD I haven't even written anything more in my YGO fanfic >.<; I'm a bad authoress. I'm sue everyone at AFF.net is like "WTF? Is she ever gonna update? Geezus..." haha oh well, they'll just have to get over it. Anyways, so there's been LOTS of junk going on and I don't know if I can sort my thoughts enough to talk through it all so I'll just give littl blips I guess. I hit the main things and go on.  I suppose the main things would be: 1) I've started school again and 2) The dancing season is overs yeshh~! lol. I think there are some other things so this entry will pobably be random. That's okay though, no one cares xD ...right? lol.

So WishFul, the galcir I'm in, had the kick off event...it was a sucky turn out but we all had fun despite that. Mimiru and I learned a lot from it. I've also changed my style...and I may end up changing it again. I went from Himegyaru (princess gal) to Banba...I really like banba it's awesome...but the thing about banba is I have to tan >.<; I HATE tanning...in fact, I don't even really like going outside xD unless of course it is overcast or night time. My friend calls me a vampire. That's a compliment though so it's cool haha. At any rate...I'm thinking of changing my style again...maybe Oneegyaru or something like that and only doing Banba for events... I dunno. I have to talk to her about it. *shrugs* So right now I think we are attempting to plan the Winter Masquarade (hfc...i think I spelled that wrong o.o ) and getting ready for Kawa Kon in March. I don't think that i will be able to stay all the days though... ehh I dunno >.<; we're hosting panels which really scares me but oh well. I did go to Mimiru's the weeked of the event...I got totally wasted...it wasn't responsible or smart especially with my psychological problems and the medicine I take. Not the smartest thing in the world. I never said I was smart though xD

The Japanese festival went...well it went okay. The first day the parade got cancelled >.< which was irritating. Do you know why it was cancelled? Because of RAIN!! Freaken RAIN!! It hasn't rained during the festival in over ten years! (or so says Sensei) I ended up helping sensei a lot this year. I think she is trying to train me to be her assistant xD lol. nice right? hahaha. So that's all I have to say on the festival o.O;

So then there school...school, school, school.... *shakes head* fucking school lol... I dunno. It was all fine at the beginning of the semester but I think I'm just having some problems with my bipolar and potential borderline personality disorder >.<; It's really crazy...I told my psychology professor, Dr. Billings, that I was paying attention in class but I had to doodle in my notes because it is the only thing that keeps me able to function in class. She laughed and said it was fine. I need to tell my theatre professor so he doesn't think that I'm not trying in the class. That's my worst fear that my professors are thinking that I am not trying even though I am. Yein onee-chan was helpful to me...she said she was proud of me which meant a lot to me especially after all that I put her through. She called me today but I was about to start class. It kinda made me upset because I was thinking that she never calls me and then she calls me while I'm about to start class. Then I go to call her back and she's taking a nap. It was kinda disheartening but I understood because it was a long day for her.

I'm working through it all and right now I just can't focus or concentrate too much on anything. It's taken all my energy to be able to do this. That's pretty sad >.<; I'm trying though so it'll work out. I think... ^^;

I won't give up.

This video made me cry... I'll have to explain why and such in a different entry, but it really was an extremely touching story...

Honestly? The Vampire Armand from Anne Rice's books. He is the sexiest vampire in my opinion, I don't care what anyone says...although, while Anne Rice's writings kind of showed off her egotism, I absolutely adore her vampires. They are the epitome of sex and lust. While Stephenie Meyer had an interesting take on Vampirism I on the other hand lean more towards the traditional ways of the vampire life in literature. I often like to base my vampires off of Bram Stoker's Dracula and other such works. Of course, everyone is entitled to their own opinion on vampires...I don't judge <3

My kimono came in the other day!!! I'm so EXCITED!!!! It is really pretty! I might wear it for New Years (if I lose weight...) ^^

Kirei desu ne ^o^

P.S.
Billy Mays died! TT-TT soo sad!!

I cannot believe this! Farrah Fawcett AND Michael Jackson are dead?! I did NOT see that coming at all...I knew that Farrah had been battling cancer but Michael...what the hell happened there?!! jeez...

I found the articles on Foxnews.com

Farrah Fawcett ::  www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,529080,00.html

Michael Jackson :: www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,529103,00.html

some sad stuff... TT-TT

            I have decided what I am going to do for university, I think, haha. It's been a hard decision... However, I think that it is what I really want. So, in the end, I have decided that I will stay here in the midwest for university. Mom told me to narrow it down to the schools that have exactly what I want, of course I had to figure out what I wanted in the first place. My main problem was deciding between dancing and going back to NC or another state such as Ohio. In the end, I think that deciding to dance more would be a good thing. I want to keep dancing. Now, my only thing is to decide which school to go to. Right now it is between Washington University at St. Louis (www.wustl.edu) and University of Missouri at St. Louis - UMSL (www.umsl.edu). I think my counselor will be happier now that she won't have to keep chasing around Duke University to figure out what we need to do.  When dad comes home I will have to see if my mom will take me to the campuses so we can have a tour of them. I do want to get a feel for the campus before deciding for sure. I know that Nikii is wanting to go to WashU so perhaps we can room together! That'd be fun, ne? ^o^


~ Kurichan

       Sara came over yesterday night and spent the night. We watched Sweeney Todd...but she fell asleep...then she was gone when I woke up this morning... it was like a really bad date. It made me feel really bad... on the up side, I did call that therapist... Vivian Sierra and got an appointment for monday. 

       I talked to her for a while earlier this evening and she told me what she does. I really felt like I was going to get some help with her. I want to set goals and figure out what I need to do so I can be back to my normal self. I feel like she could really help me. Bon Odori is on Monday too, and I have Japanese lesson tomorrow. I need to go over my work. 

       I haven't been eating...but I just haven't been feeling well. I dunno... I still need a job, but don't think I'll get one which pisses me off. I really need one. Oh well..   I'll figure something out...perhaps I should have taken that babysitting job. And my sister is getting on my last nerve with eating with her fucking mouth wide open! God that's disgusting!...

       Well...that's all for now, I should go find something to eat.

Jyaa